Decisions, decisions, decisions!!!

I know I should really stop getting myself distracted and should focus on my assignments ... but its been wayy to long since I actually sat down and typed a blog post. A few of my other posts are from my blogger app, so I couldn't upload much pictures (or I havent figured how to)

But I should be back to my normal routine in about 1.5 weeks ... So k-drama here I come =D

I really cant believe that exams are coming up. One of the assessments that I've been dreading the most this semester! BUT on the bright side; I'm planning to leave Australia (again) ... well it depends on what happens first. Basically I have 3 options regarding when to go

1. Go during November/ December for 6 weeks
2. Go during Feb 2013 for 3 weeks; 2 day after Chinese New Year
3. Go after Graduation

All 3 have there ups and downs

1. Most of my friends will be studying; so I wont get to see all of them
   upside: spending Christmas back there again.
   So watch out for my encore performance!
2. its only 3 weeks?
   will I end up having so much fun and feel sad about leaving?
3. According to my mum and sister, vn is pretty hot compared to Perth.
   Perth gets the sea breeze and in vn its like
   humid + hot + power outages during the day
   (when it's extra hot) = no fan + no electricity!

It's decision, decisions, decisions! BUT all will change IF I get employment before I depart = goodbye holiday!

Oh! this time around, I'm planning to vlog my entire trip. I dont think I'll go to any tourist destinations because I've been nearly everywhere up North. So I'm planning to vlog the places I generally got to during the day aka markets, stores and people who I met - So you all can hear my speak Vietnamese!

I was also thinking of bring my laptop too so I can edit the videos (can you edit mp4 files?) and post them up .. hopefully. I'm not gonna by a new camera cause I dont see the point, so I'm gonna film using my phone =) cheaper option!

I noticed that there is a lot of people around me that is either getting/ got engaged or are planning to marry/ wed this year. wtf?!? ... is this a sign that I too, should start thinking of my future partner???

Have you thought about your future?

My Angel

"When people think of angels, they think flowing robes and halos.
But in the Bible, they also look like ordinary people. Why not today?"
~ JOAN WESTER ANDERSON, In the Arms of Angels.

It's funny that someone can become someone else's angel without really noticing it. I for one, am that person. I didn't realised it at first, but in someone else's eyes, I was their angel.

What happened was he [for confidential purposes] told me, a while back, that I slowly became an angel that brought him back. What he meant was that, even though he didn't show any of his pain (that was inside his heart) to anyone, I was like a light that took that pain in his heart away when no one else could. Which I didn't realise at all until he told me.

What made me think was, what did I even do? and his reply was, I stood by him when every thing else was falling apart around him. Even his girlfriend tried to figure out (but failed) what was going through his mind during that period. What cause this pain was that he had lost his friend in an accident, he then left home for a short period of time and his break up. And so, the only person that was there from the beginning to end was me and other people who helped him too :).

SO, my think about question is: Have you ever been in a situation where you can't do anything and all a sudden someone you know becomes that 'ray of light' that you needed to get through it?

Time to MAN UP!

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel" ~Anonymous

I just hate when guys [males] don't have the courage to ask someone out. Especially when they tell you they liked you but never had the guts to ask up til now! and then all a sudden they ask you out! ... Well my answer to that is 'NO'.

Why? Well, 1) You didn't have the courage to tell me back then and 2) Why the sudden "Will you go out with me?" and then tell you they 'chickened out' back then.

It shows a lack of courage to ask someone out. That's what I think. I like guys who actually have the courage to ask someone out without any delay. It shows alot of courage. Also that they [males] want to pursue the girl.

My advise to all the guys out there who don't have the courage to ask a girl out is:
You should tell her before its too late. No matter what the outcome is (good or bad) you can use it as an experience and not regretting it later on. Especially to the guys who I knew (that also where in this situation with me) to MAN UP NOW.

SO here's some handy hints (from buzzle.com) to asking that special person out:

1. Don't think that a date is the most important event in the world. So remember to breathe, stay calm and plan what actions to ask the girl on the date.


2. Know what the girl's interests are and her friends so that you can be apart of them as well. And don't do the whole stalker thing and/ or hire a dective to find out this info T_T.


3. Get closer to her. NOT physically. Like become like a friend that helps each other out.


4. Hanging out. Try to go somewhere that you guys can bond. Like out of school or work. This helps you to know a little bit more about her outside the workplace and what not.


5. Ask her out. A simple note, or a causal coffee meeting or even the movies will helo you ask her out on a date. But rememer you dont want to scare her so don't go over board with it.

Wish List so far ...

I know I'm a bit early for making a wishlist, but my birthday is coming up and also I got a til the end of the year to save some money. So here's what I currently want and/ or planned get:

A Nikon D7000 DSLR Camera. Priced at $1,599.00 AUD. Because I want to take some professional photos. Even though my current camera is ok. I just want this one at the moment.

A flight ticket to Vietnam AGAIN. Priced at ~ $1,600.00 AUD. On Singapore Airlines :)

Why 'Tears of Hope' (Nước mắt của hy vọng) ?

As some of you maybe be asking why is my blog called "Tears of Hope" which translate to Vietnamese "Nước mắt của hy vọng". The reason why I bracketed the Vietnamese name was because I wanted my readers to know that even though I blog in english, I'm a Vietnamese person. It also relates to the fact that some/most of my blogs are always linked to my holiday experiences in Vietnam. :)

It's called "Tears of Hope" because it was a name that I came up with to give of different meanings. "Tears of Hope" can mean alot of things in life. The word 'Hope' is supposed to mean e.g. the hope to start a new life, the hope to get the strength to move on, the hope to discover who you are. The word 'Tears' emphasises on the tears that may come out of it (like the end result) or the strength used to achieve it.

Hence why my blog is called "Tears of Hope". I wanted to have a blog that I could blog on what I've learnt, what I've experienced and what other people may also face. I wanted this blog to not only allow people to read, but also related to the experiences which I've faced each and everyday. It's kinda like a diary but with out that love-dovey and secret stuff but based in real life both past and present.

"Tears of Hope" wasn't just the only title I used in high school. There was also "Forgotten Memories". "Forgotten Memories" was mainly about the memories that you wish you haven't forgotten. For example, the memories of a love one who passed away or a happy memory. In this title, I wanted to emphasis on the memories of the past and the future that people may have forgotten. However, it wasnt just about forgetting memorise of the good times. It was also about trying to forget bad memories e.g a criminal offence and starting a brand new life.

I thought of calling my blog (before I started) "Forgotten Memories" or "Forgotten Love". But, I think this blog is well suited with "Tears of Hope". :)

Opening and closing doors

In our lives we open a lot of doors. Not the doors where we get in and out from but as a metaphor. I was in church a few weeks ago, when the priest used the metaphor opening and closing doors. This made me think. He said that we open a lot of doors in our lives but we don't seem to close a lot of them before we die. Which means, we always have a thing we started with but never seem to finish/end them before we start a new one.

For example, we might start a new project and then half way through it we might forget about it in the shed. Then a few years later, the project still remains there but uncompleted. Or maybe, we might have an arguement with someone in the family and say things that we didn't mean and wish we didn't say it before they die.

This year, I have opened a lot of doors. For example; new friendships, learning new experiences, given new opportunities and more. The doors which I think I've closed this year would be doubting myself, letting people's opinions get the best of me and more.

Because the year has almost come to an end (about more than 2 weeks) I recommend that we should think of doors which we have opened and trying to close some of them for the New Year (2011). This way, we can start the New Year fresh and leaving the past knowing that we completed something. I for one think that if this year has been a bad year, then try to close the year by fixing up your mistakes and start the New Year fresh and guilty free. :D

The right time to move on

So I was watching Hi! My Sweetheart, a 2010 Taiwanese Drama, and one of the episode scene made me think for a bit. It was when Lee Wei character He Yan Feng asks Rainie Yang's character Chen Bao Zhu if its time to move on. What he ment was that, if it was time to let that person in her heart to move out so that another person could move in. This was because, she was in love with Show Luo's character Lin Da Lang (who was actually Xue Hai's fake name) for 3 years and its been 3 years since the break up and since she's been searching for him. That night she decides that Yan Feng was right and she decided to pack the Pink Panther and her only photo of her and Da Lang away in a box and to move on.

So what made me think was that it does take that long to move on from someone. I mean, if you have a crush on someone and realise they don't feel the same, does it take the same amount of time to stop having feelings for them? This is because I was in that kind of situation, in the past. It took me 6 months to fall for 'him', and 6 months to forget about 'him'. But in the end, I think it was a good thing that I didn't form a relationship with him because we have been such good friends.
Does this also apply for people who just been in a relationship and have broken up? Like if you been with someone for a year or 2, then will it take 1 or 2 years to mend your broken heart and get "back on the horse" or to move on/ forget about them?

2 years since I've made my decision ...

So it has been 2 years since I was in my younger sister's shoes. I mean, it's been 2 years since I had to decide what degree to do and what my new future would be after I graduate from high school. I really can't believe that it been 2 years. I always thought (when I was in high school) that what ever degree I chosed it will effect me in the future and that there's no turning back once I started.

But the hardest part for me was when it came to choosing a degree to do at uni. At the start of year 12 I wanted to do Laws and become a Lawyer. Later on, I realised that I should do a degree that involves the subjects I was doing in year 12. The subjects I did where: Chemistry, Physics, Marketing and Management, English Literature (I later changed to the TEE English) and History. So I changed it to Criminology and Forensics. Throughout the whole of year 12, I thought that Criminology and Forensics was the right choice I'd made for the future. But, after I had finished my TEE Exams, graduated and went to Vietnam for leaver and also christmas and waited for my results to get published, I kepted thinking maybe it wasn't the right degree to do.


So when I got back from Vietnam (after the christmas holiday over there), I changed to a bridging course at ECU (Edith Cowan University). This allowed me 6 months study for free for 6 months and to let me decide what degree to do. By the end of the course; I applied for Curtin University of Technology as a mid-year applicant, thinking that I wouldn't be accepeted. However, I was accepeted to the University to study the Bachelors of Commerce/Business.

So I am currently studying Commerce in Accounting and Business Law. I am expected to graduate in 2 years (2012) and my plans for after graduation is to apply/ work for CPA Australia or CA or any of the Big 4. If not then, I decided that I will continue my further studies at ECU (Edith Cowan University) in Law as a graduate. This was because I initally wanted to study laws.

2 months left til summer break! ... eek!!!

I think my mid semester week break was not a really productive week for me 6.6.
But it was a good to kind of relax after 7 weeks (I think) for constant studying and finishing assignments. But now that I'm back at uni, I have 2 test to do and 1 group assignment to finsih off before my exam >.<" ... eeek! But the bright side is I have 2 months until the summer break ^^. Which means 2 months til I leave and head to Vietnam =)

I seriously can'tn believe that the year has gone by sooo quickly ^^. But it was like after I came back from Vietnam (cause I was holidaying over there at the beginning of this year) that I was counting down how many months I had to survive til I could go back there again. Numbers like 10 more months then 9 more months etc.. seemed to be endless! LOL ... BUT now its only 2 more months ^^ I think the feeling of waiting is a good thing. I mean, I've been waiting all year for this trip because I really want to stay for Chinese New Year/ The Lunar New Year and it just seems like waiting for it would be soo worth the wait ^^. But I think that this trip maybe my last trip to Vietnam. I mean, after this trip, I would be starting my majors in Accounting and Business Law and getting a job after this degree isn't really easy. According to my lecturers, I should start consider applying for internships but most of the internships require me to work during my breaks and I can't apply for any cause I promised myself to go to Vietnam.

So I guess next year I'll apply for those internships because then my chances of getting a job would be good ^^ plus I'm going to apply for the business mentoring programs too ^^ cause it would look good on my CV/ Resume.

I will be waiting for you

“Wait for me.... I will be back very soon”. So I was watching Boys over flowers, a 2009 Korean Drama, that made me think about waiting for someone. I mean, in this drama Gu Jun Pyo sends Gandi a text message as he flies off because Geum Jan Di could not reach him in time. As a result, the message said for her to wait for him and that he would be come back real soon. After a few months, she decides to visit him in Macau. But things aren’t what she hoped to be, when she finds Gu Jun Pyo. However, Gu Jun Pyo still loves her but he has to pretend to not be involved with her, to get his mother off his case and satisfied. When Geum Jan Di returns to home, Gu Jun Pyo also returns and he tries to get back with her, but from what she seen and known, it took a bit longer for them to be together.

What made me think about this issue of waiting for someone to come back to you is that is it worth waiting for them? Like, say that you promised to wait for them and after a year or 2 you finally meet them again, do things goes back to how they were or how you left off? What would happen after 1 or 2 years apart?

It’s kind of hard to predict what would happen ... really. I think the only answer is if you love them and they mean everything to you and that leaving is the only option then its worth waiting for them to come back to you, if they also feel the same. I have a friend that has been in a relationship for almost 3 or 4 years now and their relationship is still going strong. This is because the ‘guy’ was forced to join the army in Singapore for about 2 or 3 years, to serve his country, so his girlfriend waited for him. From what I heard from him, his training will be done by 2011.

Some would say that waiting for someone shows commitment and it would strengthen your current relationship too. Well, that’s mainly other people’s opinion. So my question is, is it worth waiting for someone? And will things get picked up after a certain time apart from one another?

Decisions we make

So it’s been awhile since I’ve done my last blog entry so I decided tonight I would do one. Mainly before I start studying for my exams for uni.

So this blog will be about decisions that we make. Currently I’m stuck at a particular decision. That is, whether or not I should go to Florence, Italy, or not in December. The opportunity was emailed to me a few weeks ago to go to Florence for 2 weeks, in December, and study. The only problem I have is whether or not I should go or maybe hold it off until next year. A factor is that if I go, who’s going with me? I know my friends aren’t going cause of the money issues. And I don’t want to travel alone for 2 weeks and book my hotel and airflight by myself. I rather have someone there just too also enjoy the experience too. I have to make a decision by Monday. Part of me wants to go and the other doesn’t.

So my question is how do you make a decision that will affect your life? Or how do you decide what is right or not?

For example how do you know when it is the right time to propose to someone? Or how do you know that the decision you make is the right decision for a situation? Or if you have two people you love and you can only save one. Who will you save?

Can you lend me a Heart?

Here's a poem which i published 29/11/2007 to a local newpaper. This is one of my last piece of work that I created. However, after this creation I stopped for awhile and haven't written any more ever since.

Every day I sit and wait,
Waiting for God to change my faith
Can God replace my broken heart?
Or will he left it be torn apart?
Waiting for a chance to live once more,
So please God don’t close the door!

I dream of seeing the stars up high,
Not a world that’s full of lies.
Dust til dawn, I sit and pray,
Hoping that you’ll change my way.
The pain and suffering I dread each night,
Finding a way towards your light.

All I have is my family and friends,
They’ll support me till the very end.
The pain I caused is in too deep,
At night I cry myself to sleep.
Each day that flashes before my eyes,
I asked myself “will God let me die?”