For a love of a daughter ….

No matter how hard I try, I end up failing. I try so hard, and yet I can’t meet to your expectations. I must admit, I’m not perfect, smart nor beautiful; but I do try. It just seems like no matter how hard I try to make you happy, I always seem to make you angry. Maybe I should stop trying?

You haven’t realized how many dreams I have put on hold for you, just so you can live out your dreams. 8 years of my life has now gone to waste. And in those 8 years; you never realised on what I gave up on. Nor have I heard a single ‘thank you’ from you. Maybe I was wrong to let you live your dreams and to give up on mines?

For the love of a daughter, all I wish is to stop causing more and more pain; and wish to live a simple life. No matter how hard I try to gain your approval; I’m the one ending up hurt and lost. It seems like our relationship has just said it's 'goodbye' .....

Time to MAN UP!

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel" ~Anonymous

I just hate when guys [males] don't have the courage to ask someone out. Especially when they tell you they liked you but never had the guts to ask up til now! and then all a sudden they ask you out! ... Well my answer to that is 'NO'.

Why? Well, 1) You didn't have the courage to tell me back then and 2) Why the sudden "Will you go out with me?" and then tell you they 'chickened out' back then.

It shows a lack of courage to ask someone out. That's what I think. I like guys who actually have the courage to ask someone out without any delay. It shows alot of courage. Also that they [males] want to pursue the girl.

My advise to all the guys out there who don't have the courage to ask a girl out is:
You should tell her before its too late. No matter what the outcome is (good or bad) you can use it as an experience and not regretting it later on. Especially to the guys who I knew (that also where in this situation with me) to MAN UP NOW.

SO here's some handy hints (from buzzle.com) to asking that special person out:

1. Don't think that a date is the most important event in the world. So remember to breathe, stay calm and plan what actions to ask the girl on the date.


2. Know what the girl's interests are and her friends so that you can be apart of them as well. And don't do the whole stalker thing and/ or hire a dective to find out this info T_T.


3. Get closer to her. NOT physically. Like become like a friend that helps each other out.


4. Hanging out. Try to go somewhere that you guys can bond. Like out of school or work. This helps you to know a little bit more about her outside the workplace and what not.


5. Ask her out. A simple note, or a causal coffee meeting or even the movies will helo you ask her out on a date. But rememer you dont want to scare her so don't go over board with it.

What do I want for my birthday?

So, my birthday is coming up in like 3 more days >.<" ... So I guess, the main question is "What do I want for my birthday?" ....

Well, my main wish is that people would remember my birthday without me letting them know like throught Facebook, Yahoo messager, MSN etc.... Like, there's a few people who actually fulfiled this wish of mine.

For example, I had a friend in Vietnam, who I only met twice, and he actually was online all morning til lunch time to say 'Happy Birthday' to me. Which was one of the sweetest thing that someone has ever done to me. It put a smile on my face cause none of my family members knew it was my birthday.

The most akward and amusing situation was another friend in high school. I told him like a year before when my birthday was and he put it in his phone. The following year, him and another mate (who was also a friend of mine) walked up to me and my friend and sang happy birthday to me. The funny thing was, he was 1 month too early to sing me happy birthday :) . He also argued that I didn't even know my own birthday until he checked his phone which he'd realised he set the alarm 1 month early. So each time its 1 month before my birthday I would remember that situation :)

My next wish is to have a nice family dinner. I know it sounds lame and stupid but it's something I really want. The last time my family celebrated my birthday as a whole family was when I was in year 10 or 11. We went to Burwood, for lunch at a Chinese resturant. That was the last time we actually celebrated my birthday as a whole family. After that, it seemed like everyone went their seperate ways. For example, Dad would work on the long weekend, My sister and brother-in-law would have to keep their shop open for the long weekend and yeah.

So I wander how this year's birthday would turn out? ... I, for one know, that I'm working a 10.5 hour shift (from 10am til 8:30pm) on my birthday. So, I doubt that I would be blowing out any candles and cutting any cakes on my special day.

Wish To See You Again

So like, when it comes to relationships I think I'm one of the most clueless person EVER!!!. I can give friends advise and all but when it comes to me and actually getting/ starting to be in a relationship, I'm soo clueless.

So its been like 1 1/2 weeks since my date on Sunday night (not that I've been counting :S) and I have no news on a 2nd date :'( . Maybe its some think we both said? I mean, after the date on Sunday, we got each other's email address and numbers. We added each other on facebook and chatted. We both told each other that we were both busy with assignments and mid semester tests and won't be free til the week break.

So maybe its the fact that were too busy with study that we haven't really arranged anything? But a good indication was when he said (while driving) was that we should catch up for a movie, which I replied 'yeah sure' which is a good step forward :D

If study is preventing him from asking me out again then I'm going to implement time limit on him. I'm giving him up until my birthday is over (12.01 am 27/4) to ask me out again. Because by then there is less studying and we're on the Easter Break!. If he does then I definately say 'YES'. If he doesn't then I'll see this as a sign as we are just friends. Am I too mean for putting a time limit on him? Well we'll see what happens. I'm not going to hint him out or anything about this time limit, unless he reads my blog in which case 'Ask me out again!!!' :P

So is there like a rule book on begining a relationship? Because I doubt that I'm the only one that is in this situation at the moment. So is there like a rule that states that if he doesn't contact you like a week or so after a date that means he/ she just want to be friends? Or that don't scare the poor guy/girl off on your first date together?

Horoscopes predictions: Real or Fake?

So its been awhile since I last blogged, and yeah. :) So, like I was wandering, if horoscopes predictions are real? I mean, last night, I decided to read my horoscope for because I wanted a break from all this studying. So anyways, it said (along the lines of) "you'll meet someone new and they will change your life/ influence your life" Which I was like suprised. Because this coming weekend, I've been set on a date (thanks to my sister and her husband). So like, will this prediction come true?

So on another note, I decided to give my relationship status a chance and to go on this date. In the past, decisions like dates and stuff, I usually never really gave it try. So let's hope this date goes well ^^. Also I want to thank my sister and her husband for the free outdoor cinema ticket and 'trying' to convience me to give this date a chance.